May | 2017 | Lost in the Echo.

A millisecond of an encounter, a million thoughts exchanged.

They met at the coffee shop. Perhaps, it was the fate at play or probably its just a coincidence. There was a mix up in their orders and he got hers, she his. That’s how they met for the first time, second time the very same day, when the came face to face to exchange their order. Him being a coffee enthusiast, or in other words a caffeine addict came to have his daily dose of coffee and took the only remaining seat under the roof. It was probably the rush hour or perhaps the people found this to be an ideal place to talk their business. Or perhaps the people ‘hopelessly’ in love have found this place for their usual business of enclosed public display of affection. The music was blaring in his ears when a shadow appeared in front of his eyes and he knew what they wanted to ask so he said “Sure” just as the shadow began to ask a question and as the shadow took it’s place, he got a glimpse, a split second of the shadow in his absent mind. He pretended to be normal but there is a sudden commotion within him, something surreal, something that he had never felt before. His heartbeat was faster, his mind started racing with million thoughts and he wanted to be as cool and calm as possible. May be it was her eyes, may be it was her in complete adoration.

She looked across the room filled with voices, soft yet loud, as it felt like it was a very happening place. Perhaps, it is the busy hour, she thought to herself. She scanned the whole place but she couldn’t find a single seat except the one in the far corner. She was finally relieved to find a place all to herself where she could indulge in some lone time after the mess of a day that she had had. She just wanted to drown herself in coffee and a book, and leave the day behind. As she was going to grab that corner place while a multitude of thoughts that overflowed her, they stopped in mid way when she saw a guy listening to the music in his phone, settling himself in the seat. She was about to turn around but thought of giving it a shot if he was alone by any chance, she could still drown herself in the book, because then it wouldn’t matter even if anyone was in front of her or a mile away from her. But as she reached the table and was about to ask the question about the seat, “Sure” came the reply as the person in the chair already anticipated what she had wanted without even looking at her. Perhaps there was something really important on his phone that compelled him to be so fixated on his phone. But as she took her seat, she saw his eyes in a tiny glimpse, a millisecond of an encounter, a million thoughts exchanged.

It was that moment when the world went into a silent blur and the voices started fading away in the background. A moment frozen in time that neither of them wanted to come out of, but a distance voice kept calling their names which involuntarily brought them back to reality. Their orders were ready and since he heard his name first, he went ahead to get his while trying to play as cool and normal as possible. But perhaps, he was too indulged in the surreal world that he stumbled as he walked towards the counter. She followed him as her name was next on the list. He didn’t pay much attention to what he was carrying back, neither did she, but as they sat back in their seats, they realized that their orders might not have been theirs.

For a second they waited a moment for either of them to say a word. If they had waited another second, they would have continued to have each others drinks without informing either one about the mismatch, which didn’t seem like such a bad idea either, thanks to the great aroma that it was radiating, but they spoke almost at the same time. And then they paused for the other to continue, but each of them waited for the other to say something. When neither of them said anything, they both smiled and as they exchanged their trays. His heart melted a little, her smile got to him, he didn’t even realize the loud music that played in his ears through his ear phones, and she was no indifferent, she forgot about the book she wanted to read. All she wanted to read now was him, know about him and may be talk a little more with him. But their silent occasional glances did all the talking, in it’s own language. It was as if they knew each other for a long time by how their eyes interacted. They sat across each other and though they were silent for a long time, yet continued talking with their eyes. But eventually, they talked after introducing themselves to each other. It was a weird feeling for both of them. They were complete strangers to begin with and yet somehow they were completely comfortable talking to each other. Before they realized, time flew by, the moon was at its peak and the coffee shop was about to be closed. That was when they were forced to retire for the day but neither of them wanted to. She didn’t once worry about the dreaded day that had passed and he had the best night of his life in such a long time. There was something unique about each other that attracted one another on a level that they failed to comprehend. And yet they were a little shy talking, considering they were complete strangers and they were scared to ruin a good thing by saying something that the other wouldn’t like. That level of understand is yet to be reached between them. By the time they had exited the coffee shop, he knew that both of them had to go separate ways since they stayed on opposite side of the city, so he asked if she wanted to walk for a bit and since it was pretty late, he promised to drop her home.

He had his fingers crossed behind him hoping that she would answer in his favor and to his surprise, she did. They had walked around for a bit longer than they had hoped to and they were in the backseat of the cab where he was doing as he had promised to drop her home even though she insisted that she could go on her own, which was a lie. Yes, she could go but she would have preferred not to, especially if it was him accompanying her. They reached her home and made their way to her house. He had informed the cab driver to wait and keep the meter on as he didn’t know what would happen in the next few minutes- whether he would stay over or have to return back to his home to one sleepless night(s). And as they reached the door, a million thoughts flooded his mind and so did hers. He didn’t know what to say and what to do. She was flustered already that he was at her doorstep and she wanted him in her house, sit by the fire and talk the night away, but didn’t know how to ask him. Meanwhile, before he was about to bid farewell, he opened his arms saying that he had the best night in a very long time and that she was a very special person. As they hugged, their bodies talked to each other in that warm embrace, a spark went inside each other’s heart and before she could process what was happening inside her, she kissed on his cheek and invited him inside. He ran back to the cab and paid the fare and came back into her house.

They crashed in the couch as she offered him a glass of wine. A soft music played in the background. All this was done by her while he ran back to the cab to pay the fare. And when the music in the background hit the right note, they looked at each other, into their eyes and it happened again, a spark in their eyes that called out to each other. They came a little close to each other, diving deep into each other’s eyes and they came close enough to breathe each other in.

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To be continued …
(Or should it be stopped here?
If you’re reading this, drop in your opinions what could happen, in your opinion. )

How important is love? How important is loving a person? And how much more important is loving a person who loves you unconditionally, without any expectations. Wait, a few expectations, scratch that a little too much expectations, but still loves unconditionally.

How flawed I must be to not resonate the same love? How lost I must be to not acknowledge the depth of the concern showered all over me ? How broken I must be to not understand the gravity of the emotion shared?

They said, it’s pure. They said, it’s ethereal. They said, it’s unconditionally out of the world. And yet I failed to even scratch even the surface. As far as I could remember, I have tried to maintain my distance. The text messages that kept coming like a daily ritual, only to be answered with a big sigh once a day, that too after a consistent array of messages overflowing the inbox of concern. I failed to understand. Or that time when the phone rang and I sighed a little and let the ring die out, a couple too many times. And then when left with no other choice, tried to keep the conversation to a bare minimum by using just one word answers. Or those white lies, I kept telling to put the phone down to text someone I didn’t even know or be done with the call. I failed to understand. And when I was called to be at home for holidays, how I kept evading, every time. “Why aren’t you going home for holidays“, when asked by people around me, I cooked up an ever so brilliant story such as how my parents weren’t at home or were busy with something or whatever hit my mind at that time.

Under the cacophony of multitudes, I never even tried to understand, to be fair. With each thought that passes by, it makes me realize that there is something hauntingly broken inside of me that fails to process the emotions, the purest that there is, the feelings which should have come naturally, and yet they are nowhere to be felt. And all along, all my attempts to be a part of the crowd, to not be so messed up, in the inside, I smiled at the pleasant stories they told, got angry at the insensitivity, because anything otherwise is an abomination of human existence. And in an attempt to be normal, I wished her “Happy Mother’s Day” over a text.

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