I had always imagined myself to be having a vision board, with post-it notes, red ball of thread and weaving a story like the ever so creative detectives and their boards on almost all the TV shows. While they tried to figure out how to catch a killer, I would probably try to figure out how to write a killer story, or maybe I should perhaps create a board to revive my writing gene, which if you haven’t paid much attention died a while ago. I always felt the need to write, maybe because I couldn’t speak, maybe because when I did speak, it did somehow backfire. Don’t get me wrong, I have been in a trouble a lot for speaking than I was for writing. Oh, yeah, writing did create some enemies too, but then again was there ever a shortage of enemies. The shortage has always been with friends. Even the people I have come across on WordPress, I did consider them as friends, please note that this is a uni-directional one, doesn’t always have to be bi-directional. I mean to say, I have imagined to have a writers club of sorts shooting ideas over skype, google chat, I mean zoom.
Sometimes thinking inside the box is more than enough.
.ᴇ ɴ ɪ ɢ ᴍ ᴀ
While I would contemplate on things I did to piss people off, in which context I had nothing to do with it, but my not-so-pretty but little mind of mine would start creating new story lines with the red thread that was unused from the previous paragraph’s story board. Oh! You wouldn’t believe the theories I would come up with, it would mind f#ck a thousand ways to one. But you wouldn’t want that, I am sure. Believe me, I sometimes wonder if I should ever be admitted given the web of things my mind weaves up within fractions of seconds. I would have loved it if I was making out of this catastrophe. If only, nevertheless, we don’t want a let down of a person. We are all looking for inspiration in the very unsettling world out there and positivity is the word of the day, each day, every day. Such a fun and exhilarating phrase that is, ‘positive vibes only’. I am reassured each and everyday when I scroll up the Instagram or Facebook amidst all the short videos that float around people still manage to be inspiring. But little do they know, there is no inspiring the dead.
Oh, believe me I tried. I have made resolutions, created punishments and whatnot, but some are just dead on the inside. I sometimes wonder what had inspired me once upon a time, I was struggling to keep up with my writing, I had written page after page, bookmarking them, labelling them, in diaries in different inks and whatnot. And then someone flipped a switch and I haven’t held a pen in what feels like a million years. Maybe a pen is the trigger object like the snow white’s kiss from the estranged prince. But only if there was a curse. Well, there seems to be one and that would easily be broken by doing something about it, but who will tell my not so smart brain of mine to do than to think of doing it ‘later’.
But hold on a second. Did I catch you on a wrong day? Did I somehow let down you day with my un-inspiration? I would apologize and I should but I had done that plenty to no avail. So, I think I would rather stop doing that. And what’s that? To whom have I apologized to and why? All good questions and there is a perfectly good answer to it as well, but I have been told a good mystery is healthy. And before I go around writing gibberish, I would like to think I have made a comeback and this is nothing close to a comeback post which will blow your mind. Well, I did have one but honestly, that would be rather too much to handle and I already have enough people hating me, I wouldn’t want to pile up on that. Hate is strong word, and that is something you will associate to once I happen to bring out the best of myself with the worst.
Are you with me? I would have loved to end the post on a happy note and from what I can tell, I am nearing the five hundred work mark that I made up just a minute ago. But I would love to know how you all have been and what are you upto? If you would be so kind to leave a note, I will definitely make sure to check your blog.
Lost in the Echo. 