Never Again

We cross the lines labelled never to cross.
– eɴʏɢma

She had been holding on to it for quite a while. There was a lot going on in her mind. And it was getting frustrating with each passing moment. Even though what has occupied her mind is a beautiful memory yet, she had been feeling about it all this while. It has been two days and she was probably dying to speak to anyone so that she could ease the burden on her shoulders. What could it be which is weighing her down so much in spite of that memory being a beautiful one? She had been feeling bad because of what she had done and it is morally questionable. As if she had thought of the moral quotient or so to speak her integrity.

“I kissed another guy”

She met him online on Twitter. A few words here and a few there, a little flirting and a lot more love (or so it might seem like), a bit of truth and lot of falsity, a bit of infatuation a lot of lust. It seemed mutual, the infatuation..er the lust. The love is still a questionable aspect because both were in a relationship, with someone else. Numbers were exchanged and chats turned to video calls and the rest was history. But all changed one day.

It was the day when he told that he was still in a relationship and that this girl from Twitter was a happy time pass and that this promise of getting intimate was still on the cards because that was what he was looking for. A fling on the side while having a girlfriend. She was devastated with the development that blew up in her face. She wasn’t as faithful as she should be and yet this came as a shock to her. She felt used, she felt betrayed, she felt hurt and in all she felt cheated.

He was blocked from contacting her. She made sure of that. Because she didn’t want to be that person who would be manipulated and used for a casual intimate encounter. But…she used to check him out once in a while. She was intimidated. She was in love, but didn’t want to admit that, to anyone and to herself. Because at the back of her head there was a voice shouting about all the morality of the situation she was putting herself in.

She got a call from him. She was shocked and yet at the same time intrigued that he called her. He was outside her college. She was at loss of words. She was in his car and she had lost herself. Then she kissed. They both kissed. She enjoyed every moment of that. She wanted more of that. But that moral police roaming around with a siren on top had been shouting that this is wrong, that she should stop it, that she should not even encourage it. In spite of all the red tape and X marks she went to his home, in her own accord. The fantasy had to happen. She wanted it to happen. She could have avoided all that because in some distant corner of her mind there was a voice shouting to her to not do any of it, standing over the moral integral line and urging her to not cross that line. She heard that voice, its agitated-frustrated and extremely loud but it faded away when he went all cheesy on her.

She knew that it was wrong but then again her desire to make that fantasy true was more strong. It overpowered her and she didn’t have much choice. Well, she had but she choose to ignore it nonetheless. And then again, it was the best one she ever had. She was beyond happy. She was elated. She enjoyed every bit of it.

It was a day after that she came out from the trance and saw all the moral police with their angry faces. She was supposed to feel guilty, but she didn’t. She was getting frustrated about her inability to feel even a bit of guilt for the things she did. She wanted to share with someone but then again she was scared of driving people away because of the weight of the thing she was about to share.

_______

She didn’t want something this to happen again, ever. She didn’t want anything like this to happen in the first place. She didn’t want to meet him. She didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t even want to think about him. She knows how wrong it is, how immoral it is, this being unfaithful to someone else is. And yet she did every single bit of it. But then again, she doesn’t regret what she has done. She will probably (not probably, definitely) do it again all over again. She knows that too that she will. Perhaps, she wants so.

_______

Let’s take a moment to reflect at the people and their behaviour. Being faithful is an integral part of a person. But then again when they happen to be unfaithful what are the possible reasons for going ahead with it? Does it have to do anything with them being unhappy with the present relationship? Or is it the fun or excitement in crossing that line? Do reflect your opinions about the people being in such situations and crossing the line they know they shouldn’t cross! What’s your take on it? Well let me repharase and be more blunt at this because I am sure people have opinions like always but when it comes to them they evade. So, what would you do? You love someone but you have a desire to be someone else! And you know it is wrong, but you want it very very badly. What would you do?

But let’s just appreciate this quote that blew my mind. What beauty is this? :

Quotefancy-2329634-3840x2160

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90 thoughts on “Never Again

  1. The original is unfaithful to the translation! – such an amazing quote!!
    I also love how you introduced WhatsApp conversations as a part of your narrative. It was a great thought! 🙂
    What would I do?! I’ve never physically wanted to be with anyone that I don’t love… To me, making love is an extension of loving someone. So I’d never just be ok or want to have a fling…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Awesome and emotional writing that peels open the eyes as usual. I love how you incorporate the little WhatsApp convos ☺️ I think being faithful depends on what or who you are devoting that faithfulness to. Some people give their trust too willingly, and without knowing, their romantic partners might not feel as devoted as they are to them in that relationship. This would then explain a show of unfaithfulness OK THIS IS GETTING CONFUSING WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT
    I think basically what I’m trying to say is one might be faithful to another, but if that one person finds a third person that they find themselves to feel even more loyal and faithful to, then BAD THINGS HAPPEN. Bam. How are you?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. It’s always a wow post from you. And as for your question.
    I don’t trust people easily, if someone so much as not listen to me carefully and with importance, I make a mental note – not to trust them ever. And I make my shell even harder to break.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Amazing quote… Well written, liked the way you have used whatsapp images to your story.
    Personally, i can’t even use the word “dear” to someone whom i can not connect with, i find it very difficult to even say “dear” to my friends on msgs. When you do not mean it then why should you use, just coz you think it’s like a trend or it makes you look cool to others by using words like “dear”, “sweets”, “sweetu” etc etc. It is very important for me to be mentally and emotionally connected to the person. So having a physical relationship with a person whom your not in love with is something i can’t even imagine, it is totally wrong is what is personally feel.
    For one moment of lust how can you hurt the person who is so much in love with you? Why do not ppl think of the long term relation that they would end up ruining for just a fling which means nothing at all…..

    It is just my personal opinion.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much. 😀

      I am glad that you liked it. That whatsapp images actually happened.

      High Five, neither can I. Sometimes, I have to write emails and they say Dear Team/ Abc / blablabla and I am utterly confused whether I should reply back with Dear? I end up using some other salutation and not dear. I just can’t use it. And I completely agree with your thoughts on calling the alternative names when we don’t mean it sometimes.

      I feel the same too. That emotional connection is what is more important than an physical intimate moment. It might be the best one, for one, but for the other person who is in love, it will break their heart into million pieces that they can’t even imagine.

      I felt the same when I heard her say. I am not sure how she could even do it and live with it, because she will do it all over again, if there is a chance or she will create that chance. And all this while I wonder what Love actually is.

      And thank you very much for your opinion. 🙂
      Not many have given their thoughts on this, so I am glad that you did. 😀

      Like

      • Heyyyy High Five 🙂 Wooooowwwwww good to know someone feels the same as I do… 🙂

        Exactly, emotional connection is more important than the physical… It is bliss when you actually connect with someone mentally and emotionally… That’s the most wonderful beautiful amazing feeling in this whole world I guess… It actually rarely hppns and it’s a very special feeling when u connect…

        I mean, why don’t ppl understand this? Why are they behind something so unimportant and something so fake…..

        Why why why they don’t see what true love is? Why can’t they be emotionally attached? Why do you fake your emotions?

        Ok let me just stop here… I am getting carried away… I just can’t tolerate fake emotions and fake relationship…

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m glad that some one feels the same as me too. 😊

        I believe it’s the mist beautiful thing in the world when someone understand you emotionally and knows the real person behind all the masks we wear. And more importantly love each other intently.

        People, this gen, are not long time romantics. They live in the moment. Or try to. Relationships to them is just a term with no much meaning. This is what I think about them.

        Haha. This is a safe place. You can say anything she get carried away as well. 😬

        Liked by 1 person

  5. this situation always exasperates!! okay…sometimes it’s wrong but ‘ what will you do when we already crossed that never to cross line!?’ being frank at that time will give a clear picture of repenting!!

    regarding this story….. i better say not to just get involved in not-so-exciting-magical world of love, lust, infatuation!! being single avoind hell lot of problems you see! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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