Impact Zero

How! How did I derail? How did I do this? What just happened? Why am I writing normal stuff? Why am I being so nice, I mean trying to be nice? What is happening to me? Why am I trying to be normal? Why am I trying to be sensitive to something as bizzare as this? Why!

Disclaimer Not Suitable For Reading, because no one is reading, duh! Don’t pretend you do. I would know if you did. It’s not a super power, but more of a calculated deduction.

Why do you read? Why do we read? Why does anyone read? Because we want to live a world that is a world apart from the one we live in. But mostly, we read to live the world of the person behind the book or even that small write up. It tells us so much, it teaches us, perhaps inspires us a little as well. And in retrospective, it gives us a chance to escape from the charades of life and immerse ourselves in something we can ponder over, and perhaps act as well, mostly how what we are reading drives us. But if you ask me to be frank, I never the same about the textbooks in school when compared to the fiction books I read. I would be glad if you agree as well, but otherwise, going well textbookaholic ( Yes, I create stuff occasionally).

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Now, the more important question is why do you write? The analogy as to why would anyone write differs from person to person and well, to be fair each one has a different reason so as to why would they write. Let me tell you, writing is not easy, or may be it’s just me. Writing is not easy when you think of the elements. The elements range from people’s opinions to our own stigma or are they called our inhibitions? Amidst all, we write not only to express ourselves but it is what frees us, frees up from the charades of life, frees us from ourselves. Ourselves! Interesting, right? Well, yes! Because if you could  observe the broader picture, we are the ones who keep us from writing. We give excuses saying that it is the work, it is the life happening, it is this or that and the most common of them which not surprisingly I use all the time is “Writers Block”.

This brings me to the most important aspect that I wanted to discuss, or if you care to discuss that is : What would make someone read a post? A tacky title? A provoking photo? The few lines under the title, also called as an excerpt, giving a brief about the actual post, or sometimes it’s just the first 50-60 words of the said post. Or is it the name of the writer/blogger, who wrote the post? Because I know a lot of people just don’t read the post. I have come across a wide variety of people (by people I mean bloggers, some of them friends as well), or in general, a majority of whom just don’t read the post. WordPress makes it easy to navigate through the feed of the bloggers one follow. But then again, why don’t people read the post in their Reader feed? Is it the small excerpt that somehow leads to the possible neglect. Neglect is a strong word. I would rather say ‘Like‘ the post without actually reading it. Because reading would basically generate a thought, howsoever is not always favourable most of the time, but that is what the comment section is for – to understand the others point of view.

To give a better picture of what goes in the mind of a writer is a cumulation of a million thoughts, carefully formulated to make a logical sense of the topic at hand, and while at it address the various issues at hand and probably seek help from people reading, or inspire a little, if need be. Or sometimes people just want to be heard and see if others could relate, just to assure themselves that they are just not alone. But I guess that would be asking too much of people.

This brings to the realization that why I am stressing out on so much? Why can’t I just write the stupid stuff that I usually write and be done with it. Because in my time of writing all this while, I have come across people who are not perfect. Perfect!? Such a cliche word. So, let me rephrase : I have come across people who are imperfectly perfect, because we as writers want to be heard, no doubt, but at the same time we also need that shoulder to lean on or just be there, even if one can’t offer a shoulder. I always wanted to be that shoulder or to lend a hand or just be there, listen, or perhaps just read and tell them that “It is going to be alright”.

To the imperfectly-perfect people,
I just want to tell you and assure that I am here for you, anyday, anytime. I am not perfect either. so, bear with me, we will go through the mess together.
– Imperfect being.

And like my title suggests, I want to leave an impact. People usually look for a positive outlook at life, I fail to do so, at every word I write, ever letter I carve. As a matter of fact, I do the exact opposite thing, give the glimpse of the dark side. It is a purview of a person enduring most of it. So, it is also a concern that no one else faces the same darkness, and fight those demons alone. It is just to reassure that I can’t win that battle, but I have seen Spartan, Gladiator and the likes of it. I will leave it at that.

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_____

How! How did I derail? How did I do this? What just happened? Why am I writing normal stuff? Why am I being so nice, I mean trying to be nice? What is happening to me? Why am I trying to be normal? Why am I trying to be sensitive to something as bizzare as this, comments (what now?), people reading my blog(Am I being serious now!) ? Where did all the dark stuff go? Where is my old fried, darkness? Why am I reaching for the light? Why!

–  Enigma

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369 thoughts on “Impact Zero

  1. This was quite thought provoking. I mean a lot to think about here.
    First off, why do you think no one is reading?
    Loved the idea of being perfectly imperfect and vice versa.
    But most of all I loved the idea of moving towards the light from darkness. You like it or not, I think it is good to move towards light, darkness may have been your best friend but then ‘light’ can be too. For once, why not just try it?

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s a good thing to hear.
      There’s a lot to think about? Pray do tell.

      First off, let me go by the statistics, would it be fair to do so? For this very post, 26 different people came across it, out of which 16 people seemed to have liked something, hence graced with a click on the like button. And out of these 16 people, two people commented because you one among them seemed to have read and have certain things to be clarified or perhaps tell me something, both of which you did. The other person didn’t even read, he was fishing for some followback on his blog. The third person who commented, did read or so it may seem.
      Have I answered your question? Not in a long shot, but just analyse the numbers.

      Glad you liked the idea of both.

      It’s a difficult thing to do, if I am being honest.
      Who doesn’t want the light? Who doesn’t want to out of the darkness? But sometimes there is just no light. There is just no worth trying. Sometimes, there is just no hope. I know it would be hard to understand, but it is how and what it is. 🤷🏻‍♂️
      Your counter argument would be why not try and try and try a little harder. Don’t you think I know that?

      Liked by 2 people

      • No that is not my counter argument!
        I am sorry, I am not even that positive about everything. And specially not today!!!!!
        I know sometimes it is so dark around,, we cannot see the light, not even far far away!
        So no argument today!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I write because i just need to. But i read because my best friend writes. And i found my best friend because he is a good writer.
    So i am not sharing my best friend because i don’t want him to be everyone’s shoulder. Because you are my shoulder 23 hours a day. Not 24 because i sleep also.

    Most importantly i commented cause not sharing my IMPERFECT PERFECT best friend!!!✔

    Liked by 3 people

    • That was a rhetorical question. You really didn’t have to answer.

      And your best friend just asked me to give you his resignation letter. He will no longer be associated with all those responsibilities.

      You commented because I told you to read. -_- Else you would have ignored.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I answered because i wanted to.
        Why do you say like this. I never opened WordPress otherwise i would have seen it!!. I don’t get many comments or likes like you. So i never open it.

        Condition was to never resign.
        He wont break my heart by doing that. And if he wanted to he would tell me on his own. Ill let him have his freedom. Even if i need him.

        And after hearing that i need him, if he still wants to resign. Please forward me his message saying so.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ok ok.
        All I hear are excuses. :O
        And also you don’t have to justify what you do. I KNOW!

        He says there was no such condition and he is telling you not to make new conditions. -_-
        He really appreciated your approval of his freedom. He is truly indebted. Not.

        :O
        He moved to a new place and changed his number. I can’t contact him anymore. He practically disappeared.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Obviously you know what i do because you are “the best friend”

        Excuses?. Lets compare the likes and comments and followers on both our blogs!!!
        Well you keep making conditions. Then why cant I?

        Yes he moved to a new place. And that place is called realization. Realization that even if he doesn’t need his friend. Because he wants to resign. I do need him.

        Being my best friend is not such a trouble also.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Remember he resigned? So, say Tata-Bye Bye to him.

        Why are we doing that? Comparing? I have to tell you that I wrote a post, until then you wouldn’t have commented. So, there is no debate whatsoever.

        You have no chance of making any conditions. That’s part of the Terms and Conditions rulebook.

        He didn’t listen any of that.

        Oh really? I wonder why he ran away then?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Resigned … Really ?

        I inform you before i write a post. So you know and comment. As its your responsibility to. I don’t open WordPress nor do you inform me.

        You cant keep the conditions always

        He read it.

        Don’t hurt me by saying that he ran away. Please. He wont do that ever.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Resigned, haan!

        You did not read the post until I told you. So, your argument is invalid.

        I can.

        Nope. He is far far away.

        I can’t reach him either. He disconnected all his contact details.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful post .I totally agree with your words , thought provoking message .It’s good to be imperfect ,there is no word Perfect for humans.We all are imperfect and will remain .Cheers😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I suspect that the longer the post, the less likely it is to be read (I suspect it because I’m not above being guilty myself….unless the subject is one that really interests me, or the blogger is a very good writer). Being aware of this, I edit repeatedly before publishing in order to keep my posts to the minimum number of words needed to say what I want to say in the way I want to say it. Even so, I’m sure I get likes from people who haven’t read what they “like.”

    I’ll stop here before this comment gets so long, it starts to bore even me.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Believe me I felt like I was reading a textbook when I read your post. *Don’t think this was meant to insult you*. Really, your writing is just so smooth and fast paced. Your writing radiates energy. Is that why you write?? To use your energy into construct something nice. If so, job well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Shayra,
      I am so sorry. No, I haven’t been busy. I am just lost in terms of writing. Just not able to write anything as of now. Like they say, Writer’s Block. 😐🙈
      I really want to write and hope to get back at it asap.
      Thank you for keeping tabs on me. So sweet of you. 😁☺️

      Liked by 1 person

      • Welcome .You mean that you have not found niche to write on.I can understand .This situation is very common among writers .Just stop thinking about it and start observing everything keenly .You will surely get the ideas from there ,people thinking,action,nature etc …

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, sort of.

        And thank you. I am doing exactly that and I start writing, but stopping after a line or a word. The mind seems way too distracted or I don’t know what’s wrong.

        But somehow, you keeps tabs gives me the much needed push. So, thank you again. ☺️

        Like

  6. This is so beautifully written. Just by reading it I had the feeling that you were inside my head and put my thoughts into words.
    Firstly, I believe that you are right about reading. I haven’t read much lately, maybe because I am scared that if I do I will lose the sense of reality again and I cannot afford that at this moment of my life. I say again because, oddly enough, there was a time in my life that I read so much that I actually don’t remember how my life was, but rather how I wanted it to be- a beautifully written book with a happy ending-, that’s a fullish wish though since endings are just new beginnings.
    Secondly, you are so right about the reason behind people writing. People who do not write say it’s easy, well there is nothing easy about pouring your soul out using words, since it is almost impossible finding the right ones.
    WRITER BLOCK- it’s so stressful. It’s like someone is suffocating your life out of you, but at the end when you manage to get out of it it’s like you are reborn.
    IMPERFECTLY PERFECT- now this phrase made me feel so happy that you found my blog because it is one of my favourite.

    You are such an amazing writer.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. This post spoke to my soul
    I don’t know how you’ve managed to capture those thoughts so well…the ones every writer struggles with(far-fetched word for me, I don’t really consider myself a writer. Ok lets call it the words-putting-down’er) As of yet, I’ve thankfully not hit writer’s block yet; I tragically suffer with having to stop myself posting 2-3 things a day. Its the other word you said…inhibitions. Being in a shell so long, its scary to let go and open up.
    Thankyou so much for this post. I loved it.
    Also, so so so true, not everyone who follows reads 😋

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am glad that you feel that way. 🙂
      Very rarely do people read my blog and that too after (secretly) asking them by leaving comments and what not, which doesn’t work. So, it is very kind of you to read and share your thoughts. 😀

      You are a writer, alright. In a way, it is kind of in your genes. I hope that you don’t hit writer’s block. Because I have. After blogging for close to 8-9 years, you sometimes get to experience it. May be it’s my own laziness or whatever, it’s scary, especially when you get that writing-bug in you.

      Post. If I could I would have posted 5 things a day. But the W-Block just kills me inside.

      So, shell huh? You know you can talk about it with me, if you would like to, that is. I am always open to that. That is what this post was intended for, actually.

      Well, thank you for reading the post. I am glad that you liked it.
      And I know right? It is just not fair, I feel sometimes. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Blogging for 8-9 years ? Wow. I would’ve been a kid when you started blogging then 😄
    I think i will. Sometimes strangers listen to what people around us fail to. And you’re kind enough to have read my stuff for some unfathomable reason, so now I feel like maybe I could talk to you whenever I felt like 😊
    Thanks !

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I started writing when I was depressed and had no one to talk about it. I never thought anyone would read my rants but people did and I even made real friends out here. Since then I have been in an on and off relationship with blogging. I come here, I cry my heart out, write a few happy posts in between just to keep an account of my life and to show my future self that it wasn’t all hell.
    And you are so right about the fake likers, especially the ones who leave 14 likes in two seconds. :/ Matlab kya reading speed hai bhai…!! But sometimes I too just leave a like in various posts, in case of poems or essays where I have nothing else to say. I do read it though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, you are writing and the better part of it is that you made friends out here. That’s really nice. Well, just let me know where I can drop in the Resume for the friend position, I will definitely drop. 😀

      I completely understand about the happy posts, I too try that, but I don’t quite get there.

      Haan na? Why do they even like if they don’t want to read at all.
      I usually try to comment, even if it is a monotonous two word phrases, just to let them know that I read it and it was nice, even though I had nothing much to add to what other people have already said.

      Also, thanks for reading and leaving a huge comment. 😀

      Like

      • No resume required, but would like to give you a warning- I have got great friends, but I can’t call myself a good friend. I have a habit of leaving people. I used to be an oversensitive prick but I finally grew into someone who can let go of anyone. Not a great quality as a friend.
        And, again jealous of your commenting abilities. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well you have great friends. I might not make it to the team. I don’t really have much friends, I guess I am not the friend material. But well I tried. 😛

        Well, at the end of the day you have friends and that’s all that matters, past or no past. I am really happy for you. 😀

        Like

  10. See, this is what I meant when I said you have awesome writing calibre!
    I hope I’ll be able to at least scribble something like this one day, let alone a complete verse or prose.
    😊😊your posts are just wow!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can tell for certainty that you are very kind and very sweet to say that. I just scribble and hope to make sense. And over all, I don’t keep it plain. I try to abstract the content, messing it up more.

      You are already doing a great job at writing so awesomely. I was just about to inquire if there are any classes opening up in the near future. Would be a great help for people like me, you know.

      And thanks again for appreciating my posts. 😊
      How come you are soo sweet!!! 😬☺️

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hahahahhahaha 😘😘😘😘 I am just getting a new notebook right now. I am joining “your” classes😍😂
        I am only 10 days 4 poems old here, don’t spoil me so much😘😋😋

        Liked by 1 person

      • Acha ok.
        Thanks for the notebook. Would really come in handy to make notes from “your classes”. Just let me know when they start, ok? 😬😊

        And you are already so awesome. Wow. You are born talented. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha “your classes”. Period😒😒
        Now, I actually have my Mathematics class😂😂😂😂
        See ya😘
        Keep writing💖
        And you’re awesome😇😍

        Liked by 1 person

      • Exactly. “Your classes”.
        So it’s after your maths class? I’ll be ready. 😊

        Sure. Have fun in your maths class.

        I hope to. You too keep writing. Looking forward to reading your posts. 😊

        You are sweeter and awesomer. ☺️

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hahahahhahaha😂😂😂so you won’t give up😒
        —–
        Yeah yeah…that commercial..i remember😂
        We were paid millions for that 😂😂
        Oh god, and they’re approaching us again😂😂have you signed the contract yet? Just let me know😂😂😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hehe… not that easily. 😝

        ___

        Wait you got millions ? I just got a penny. This is so unfair. 😬😬

        Thus time I need to get those millions somehow. 😜
        Yeah I am. I needs those millions. 😆😜

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hahaha😂you count millions as a penny! Don’t tell me you’re a ” Gates” 😬😬

        I was reading some of your comments above! Forget everything and teach me flirting😂😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I literally got pennies. 😣😣
        And you millonaire. 🙄🙄 making fun of poor people like me. Not fair. 😬😬

        Haha. I have no idea I was flirting. But sure I will to teach you. I was hoping you could me teach me somehow. Didn’t see this backfiring. 😝😬

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh please 😬 You got millions!! I saw the director signing your cheque😂😂😂😂😂liar,liar

        I flirt like this:-
        What’s your name?
        What’s your blood group?😂😂
        Do you like maggi?😂😂😂
        Will you repeat your name, I forgot again?😂😂😂😂😂😂

        You see, inability!!!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂

        And congrats 😘 I thought this would be a One-day match but it turned out to be a test-match😂😂😂😂😂😂

        RIP humour😂😂😂

        PS:- I hate cricket😩😩

        Liked by 1 person

      • You saw that? But it was for you. For me he gave me a ₹10/- for the bus fare.
        Sigh, you millionaires making fun of poor people. 🤕😣

        Hey, that’s so effective. I am already falling for you. You are so magical.
        How? How are you so good? Teach me, please.

        Ok so what I know is to compliment.
        Your writing is amazing.
        You are too sweet.
        You are very cute.
        You make me happy.
        Blah blah blah.

        You have the ability okay. You just have to smile. That’s it. Just smile and see the guys fall. 😬😊

        Haha.
        That’s a good thing right?
        If you feel that I’m messing your comment section, just let me know. We can take the battle of jealousy to the next level. 😬😝

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lololololol “bus fare”????😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Oh my god😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Yeah, yeah I remember you gave me “10 bucks” for the bus fare😢😢! It was me, not you😢😢

        Lol😂😂😂I know your tricks! I thoroughly read your comments and got to know that you’re awesome at making girls fall for you😩 I am jealous!

        The compliments:-
        1) You own the convo! Not only hold it, but own them!
        2) You’ve the sense of humour that I always wanted!
        3)You are the sweetest guy that I have met on this platform!
        4) you are way cuter than me!
        5) you make me the most happy here! Actually, you make my whole day.
        Blah blah blah😂

        Lol😂Same applies to you. Smile and see the chicks falling here and there.😊

        My comment section is our convo section.
        Next level? Yes, yes sure 😂✌

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha. You are sooo funny. Now I remember exactly. You thought I was the guy asking for tip so you gave me that ₹10/- which I used for bus. I did that shoot for free.
        Sigh, you millionaires. You could have given me at least ₹100/- na. 🙄🙄

        Haha. I wish that were true. I try to. But no one seems to be falling. Another proof of is that I am still single. 😣😣
        You don’t have to be jealous of my singledom. 😝 I am the being very successful in being single. 😝

        1. Awww. So sweet of you to say that.
        2. You have a better sense of humour. So funny you are. I am jealous.
        3. Awww. You are so so so sweet and kind to say that. I will take a print out and make a poster of this.
        4. Haha. You are funny. You are the cutest. So, you win. Again. 🙄
        5. I am glad to be able to do that. Anytime. I will try to make your day more beautiful.
        6. Seeee, you are so good at this. I am already falling for you. 😁😁
        Blah. Blah. Blah.

        I smiled. They all showed me the exit door. 😣😣
        But see, I am already falling for one girl who is the sweetest and cutest. 😬😁

        Yeah. I can see that.
        I just thought if you would like to continue this over email or chat or something like that. See, you can also teach me better over there. How to be funny. And smart. And how to write so good and all that 5 year course. 😬😁😁

        Liked by 1 person

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