Help me help.

There is this sinking feeling, that drowns us into suffocation where we strive to breathe, that engulfs me into this embrace, a lot like darkness. Yes, darkness, my old friend. No matter what we do, how much we try to fight, we feel tied down, held down. But, but there is light, there always is. We see it at the end of the tunnel, a vibrant collision of bright and shining. We want to reach for it. We want to get out of this darkness, this suffocation, this struggle for life, this fear. And we see this light, so close yet so far, slowly diminishing, slowly fading. But we are drowning, sinking in this quicksand that pulls us down into this bottomless pit, struggling with all our might, yet feeling completely helpless, useless.

I am angry because I am helpless.
– Ξniɢma

I just read the other day another rape incident, not a day after that mass molestation. This is shocking. This is beyond normal. This is going out of control. And I am agitated. My mind is not in one piece. I was at work and I was trying to focus on my work as I wanted some things taken care of. I got distracted with the news that I came across as I scrolled the Facebook timeline. I tried to avoid it, like I have avoided all my problems, like every important thing that mattered I have avoided, I wanted to be that dumb guy who doesn’t understand what is going on when the whole group are laughing and discussing about something. I tried to be that asshole who would just scroll down without flinching an eye and passing a comment “Nothing new“. I tried my best to be ignorant like I had been ignoring the calls from my relatives. But I was drawn to it. Why? I had to know. Why was this pulling me towards it? I didn’t even go out to catch Pokémons while the whole world rejoiced on each Pokemon they collected. I was not drawn to the girl on whom I had crush on for as long as I can remember when she sent a text. What the hell was it, then? I did what I usually don’t know but do all the time – Psychoanalysis!

Was it the pain? Was it the suffering? Was it the inhumanity? What was it?  I am human after all. I too have a few weakness. I t was then I realized that I was drawn to the helplessness. I was drawn to them all – the pain, the suffering.

As I sit somewhat-comfortably in my almost-perfectly cushioned bed after have adjusted the pillows to my favor to rest my back and try to express what I am feeling, I may be telling I am angry, agitated, pissed, blood boiling and everything hyper, but in the end what am I doing? What am I contributing to the cause? How can this little-angry write up about my anger change something, someone?

It agitated me quite a bit to even think about it. We can debate all we want about the problems we have , the things we can do , the things we should do, go on candle light marches in remembrance, stage a protest outside some government institute, break a few windows, burn a few buses, or may be not and all this while we think we are doing a good thing, trying our part in bringing about the change that we so badly need. Or even better we write about the underlying problem, the cause, the reason and while we are laying out the consequences and what we should do, what others should do, what the government we  elected must do. We would go on and write about the problems of the country, the deranged people shouting in CAPITAL LETTERS for the emphasis and also because we are agitated and angry and pissed and outraged. We hope that the letters we write, the articles we publish and the stories we scribble with the carefully structured sentences and curbing the Fuck curse words will reach the people and somehow it will bring a change, somehow it will give them a question to ponder over their actions, somehow that story just might change the people.

quotefancy-2118-3840x2160

But we are human. No, let me rephrase. We are assholes. We follow blind leaders and illiterate psychopaths. Have you ever wondered that IAS exams that we write are so tough to crack and you know what happens to the people who pass them? They work for some 5th standard fail politician. Even with all the aspirations to bring about the change on a small scale is just sidetracked. How are the politicians so illiterate. You want growth. Elect people who can take the challenge. Not someone who are looking to control and oppress. Oh, yes the speeches are always great because they have been drafted with a degree, a MBA one perhaps.

The underlying issue stays the same. We hope that people would change, the concerned officials will take control and bring drastic reforms in. But let’s get one thing clear, there are still a few assholes out there who can’t be changed no matter what you do. Don’t blame it on illiteracy. Everyone learns, in some way or the other. Just that one are hard core assholes who refuse to learn, who refuse to change their way. I don’t understand their stubbornness. They could use this stubbornness to do something good. And the problem still continues.

I am not doing a great thing here by voicing out my thoughts. And that’s what bothers me the most. I am not doing anything. I want to do something to change all this and not give people a chance to even talk about these incidents. But, I am helpless, utterly helpless.

Can you help me to help?
Please?
 

__

Ξniɢma

The picture quotes are borrowed from Quotefancy
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29 thoughts on “Help me help.

  1. A powerful, thought provoking one.
    A pen is mightier than a sword. Your write up might not change the world, but could change atleast a few. Let this powerful piece spread more. But, True we are helpless

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you.
      Yes, but the pen has never succeeded in solving the problem, has it now? But, I really hope that this changes someone and brings about the change we so badly need.
      Right? All I can do is voice out, but do nothing. And that is so frustrating. 😔

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A very emotive piece… I can safely say I know how it feels, it’s an interesting cocktail of sheer disgust, helplessness, anger and guilt. Quite simply it hurts, it hurts to see how evil and negative humans can be and while all these kinds of mind numbing activities take place around us, all we do is go about our lives filtering it out because we feel powerless. We can do everything we’ve been doing, as you mentioned, the strikes and riots and what not but the problem will still remain. This post for instance, that you wrote and I read, will it ever reach the people to whom it should? Will it ever be read by the rapists and the extortionists or the politicians? No…

    You want to know what you can do to help, if not quit your job and go on a revolution that’ll probably last years, give or take a few lives?
    … Be a good person no matter what, harbour good thoughts, don’t let the negativity get to you, help when you can, have faith, wish well and wish with all your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    • However true it might be, but right now I feel like failing somehow. What seems to be my contribution to the problems that keep coming up every other day? I am just expressing my views and burning up inside, but there still isn’t any action.

      Perhaps, when the time comes, may be I will.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Babe. I seriously relate to it. I am sorry If I didn’t comment on the things you said. I thought you had the answers to the problem and the solution. You knew there was light at the end of the tunnel. You knew that we couldn’t just talk on and on about things we see happening because it does not change things around much. But all I can say is. You are perfectly alright. Yes it was very deep and captivating because I go through life thinking the same thing. I get scared to check my Facebook feeds because of the serious updates I get on murder of young babies , rape, fighting, inhuman behaviour etc etc. Sometimes I feel breathless. Because I am helpless too. I feel suffocated. Being helpless. Not able to do anything. To impact change is the worst feeling. Sadly those who are with power don’t exercise much of it to good use. But who are we to judge others. We blame the government but normal people are doing crazy things beyond my imagination. All I do amongst this turmoil is pray. But things like that won’t dissappear becz we are living amongst wicked men and women. Selfish people and maturity is no where to be found. 😦 😦

        Liked by 1 person

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