Borrowed Time.

Crumbled pages lie silently at the corner of the room as the ink went dry, the thoughts astray. The mind was a fighting a war within itself. The heart, well it did it’s job, without a care in the world. The walls absorbed the silent screams. The prayers resonated in the enclosure, breathing the aroma of its depth and finally settling at a nice corner of the room. While the night danced in the glory of the dark, the silence prevailed in the epiphany of the mind and all around. ” Tick. Tock. Tick. “

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The echoes of pain glorified the dark corners of the ignited mind. What was wrong? What was happening? Questions piled up, like the torn off pages flickering in the silent monotony of the cold breeze which had the half laden thoughts of the days not yet come.

Words. An anagram playing in the multitude of emotions, thoughts and whatnot. A random apprehension of a sophisticated mind. Why are they so far away? Why can’t they come closer? What do they mean? Why don’t they make sense? Is this the right script? Does this reach your heart?
He stared at the mirror long. He tried to look into himself, through the very fragments that kept him together, intact, as broken as he might be inside. He wanted to see what was inside of him, how broken can a person be. He wanted to see what he was made of, whether the broken memories ever heal. He was searching for something within himself, something he felt missing. He was not sure what. He was not sure why. There were questions that haunted, haunted as the answers were just more questions.

Letter. They were letters that hold the story never to be seen, never to be adapted, never to be lived. A letter, which was a warning, an indication of what went wrong. A foreword to the people to tread carefully. He had carefully handcrafted it, wrote the best god damn letter he ever could. He spoke of the misery, he spoke of the lost self, he spoke of great many deals. He ended the letter with a farewell. It was his last letter signed off with a “I am sorry, Good Bye”.

Here he was again, 10 years later contemplating over the same letter, still broken, still finding his way, still trying to perfect his last letter. The time was a factor that stopped for him a decade ago. He was a lifelessly alive, stuck on the past notion, not moving an inch forward. He tried to end it, end it all, the agony, the pain, the disappointment, and in the end even his life. Time, for him was a reminiscent.

He was living on borrowed time.
The time which is not his.

______

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258 thoughts on “Borrowed Time.

  1. Again, with the editing. Although not as bad as last time, I’ll give you that. But of course, my job here is only for providing criticism ^^
    I think I’m supposed to say something nice… That’s what everyone else does…
    Okay. Good job, yet another depressing piece of art! Yay! ._.
    Good enough?

    Liked by 1 person

      • You misunderstood me ..It’s just hauntingly beautiful.It haunts me that someone could know me so well.Our experiences are a reflection of others sometimes.It really gets to me because I feel the frustration of not be able to write so well more than ever.I am glad someone somewhere feels that way sometimes

        Liked by 1 person

      • I apologized because I know the feeling. I have lived it, living it. And though it pains to know that there are others out there, I felt that this could bring out the curbed memories of the past, may be. That is why.

        And hauntingly beautiful! Best compliment ever. Our experiences are a reflection of others and a little our own creation. And don’t worry about how well one is writing. All that matters is ‘Can you relate?’. If yes, how can you bring about the change.

        Like

      • I guess sharing lessens the burden. I shared my bit, you could relate to it, somehow(if I am not wrong). You and I shared. That’s a win somewhere?

        Like

  2. I have been reading several of your posts and I love so many of them. This one is one of the several. Truly beautifully written! I can see the images in my mind so clearly. Vivid. And the tick, tock kept resounding in my head! Great job! I look forward to following you!😃

    Liked by 1 person

    • Why, thank you. 😊 You’re too kind.
      I’m glad you liked the post. I hope to write more. And thank you so much for dropping by and sharing your views. Really appreciate it. 😊

      Like

  3. I found you by accident. So glad I did. A comment on your subject – I understand what you mean by time and what we have today. We only have this moment. The past, and the causes we made brought us to this moment. What we do with this moment affects the time in our future. We are in control but are afraid to take it. Many people think something else has control. I almost died. I needed a liver. It was close, but I lived. My new life just turned four years old. My life changed. Every day, every moment counts so I fill it with my projects, my learning to be true to myself. I don’t care what anyone else thinks about my life. Like it, appreciate what I do, or go away.. It’s my life

    Now, your writing. It’s wonderful. It is “as you think” . A free style. When people write how they think, then they mean what they say. I saw one commented who, while being contrary, while trying to be elusive and to sound like he/she knee what they were saying – they missed the boat while trying to sound llike they had something worthwhile to say. You write the way I compose music -freestyle -improve. I hope this makes sense. First, with my piano music, I compose from the inside out -like I crawl inside the piano and just let my fingers play the emotion I’m feeling. I don’t construct it or try to figure it out. I just play and listen to it later, thinking wow, that is what I played? My fingers know what they are doing. This is what changed when I knew I was going to live. My music changed and I became the music. Some of it is very painful. But Its in the present. That is what I heard in your words. You didn’t sit and figure out what you wanted to say. You just let it flow and wrote it from the inside out. Everyone can write, but not everyone can let go and just write. Sometimes there is fear in being that open.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank You for making my day. 🙂
      I am glad that you stumbled onto my blog and well, ‘read’ the blog unlike most people. The best part of this is the comment. This is so true, so brilliantly written. I want to agree with every point you made, but I am not the person who gets compliments, even when lets say I deserve it, I feel I really don’t. That is what happening right now. I feel like a total different person here when you compare your brilliant talent of making music to my okay-ish writing. May be they could never be at par, because I for sure know that your music would be much much better and brilliant.

      But, we are all strugglers trying to find our rightful place in the world. Scratch that. We are all fighters creating our place in the world. Let the things that we fear may empower us.
      God Bless You. And cheers to your life. Let some miracles happen. And fear not of the open, because I am with you, in every step.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Don’t put yourself down. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. You have a uniqueness no one else has. I give this to you to read, but it is the music I want you to hear. If you don’t have good speakers put on headphones (my preference) put your head back and close your eyes and listen. What do you feel? It is called “Picking up Broken Pieces” https://mynameisjamie.net/2016/07/26/picking-up-broken-pieces-inside-adseg/

        Your words – we are all fighters creating our space in the world – I wish that were true. Some of us are, but way more play the victim or don’t have the guts to try something we would will to do but for some reason think we can’t and end their lives with unfulfilled dreams. But most of them don’t know what to do. They are waiting around for the creator to give it to him and when they don’t succeed say it wasn’t God’s plan for them to succeed and it lets them off the hook. That isn’t where the power comes from but no one ever taught them that.

        Liked by 1 person

      • It’s more about me than what others might be thinking. I have a shallow opinion on myself, I guess.
        I heard the music. It is great.
        It speaks about struggle, the life (the good), the ups and downs, yet still having the sunny side up, positivity and peace.

        I still stand by my analogy of “We are all fighters” and I do agree that some become the victim in a way. But it won’t be fair to point them out and say that you are the victim or I am the victim. That is when all hope is lost. I call them/us fighters, because deep dowm that tiny biy of hope is not lost.

        God is a belief. Those who fall prey and become blind hoping for a miracle from wooden planks and designed stones are lost, may be a little too lost than others. May they learn what’s important is their hardword and not superficial entities.

        Liked by 1 person

      • That is so well said. Thank you for listening to the music. What you said about what it says is right. I’d like to respond to the rest of comment but right now I’ve been sitting too long and my back is not happy. I have a herniated disk between my shoulder blades – but I will try to get back to this.

        Like

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  6. Hello there,
    After a very long time, I came her again. It is nice to see you blogging. I read some of your posts, I felt like you were in the process of repairing yourself to make a better and corageous person (we all are).
    I would like you to read some “Robin Sharma” or “Dale Carnegie” or “Rhonda
    Byrne”, these will definitely help you, I started reading these and felt an unimagniable amount of positivity and refurnishing!
    Cheers 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey,
      I really appreciate you dropping by back again. Most of the people seemed to have left me dry.
      Repairing is a too deep of a word. Damaged is the word. Yes, it is not easy to put the broken pieces back again, but sometimes, it’s just possible at all.

      I will have a go at the recommendations. You’re too kind.

      Thanks. Cheers. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Cheers to your renewal days!
        Circumstances are not bad or good, our response towards them make them ugly. I relearnt this fact today! Entrances are a hard time, and mood swings can be horrfic! Go ahead, and accept your flaws, give them time! And sketch your life again! I’ll be here for you 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • You have no idea how sweet you are.

        I completely agree. Our response to them makes the final cut.
        I know they are. My parents are behind me to get through at least one. Hasn’t happened yet.

        I have accepted my flaws. And you know what I found out, I can’t change them. And how much ever I want to get past these so called flaws, I just can’t. They are there everytime reminding me. I have come to terms with them actually.

        So sweet of you. I don’t think I want to sketch my life, again. Not with these flaws. Ever again. But thank you very much. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • You’re welcome. 🙂

        It’s quite a video you made there. Positive, Inspiration. Well done.
        If you want to be more honest, you have covered almost all aspects, that hinder the normal growth of a person, personally, socially or professionally. But you haven’t told anything new. Everything there is known. Even the most uninspired person knows what needs to be done, what they don’t do is taking that single step.
        In my opinion, talking about the things that pull us down won’t be doing much help, because I am one of those people and frankly speaking I don’t feel it, that need to change myself. May be I am a lost cause or may be I am too adamant to consider any change, but you do get the point don’t you?

        What gets to people is personal experience, something they can relate to, if not relive it. That is what connects with people.

        But again, this is just my opinion.
        All the best for your video series. I do hope someone gets inspired by them.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Pleased to hear that. I was definitely waiting for a comment like that. I understand and feel this too. I am planning to come out with a series of personalised content. I believe inspiration comes from everywhere and nowhere, it can come from a photo -movie or an incident. I will definitely take your views in to point while I am working on this project of mine. Thankyou so much for your valuable inputs. And I know you are trying in your own ways to have a better life, to have a better you. 🙂 keep working! Being positive can be hard , sulky and tough. But keep your hustle.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I am glad to hear that. I hope to see more of your videos.

        Actually, I am not trying to better my life or a better me. I have failed it a decade ago. Being positive is hard, I get it. That is why, I don’t try to be. Most of the times, it’s not even my choice.

        But thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I am sorry to hear that. But I believe there is no one who can do a better job in your life than you yourself. Cheers to the ownership you take in your life! I hope to see you bright and nice in your colours!

        Liked by 1 person

      • You don’t have to be sorry about that. It isn’t your fault.

        I agree to that. But I don’t take ownership, and I believe that is the problem.

        I hope so, but it is pretty mono and I know it. The other part is I can’t change it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • It is going to be in the same shape, until you my friend decide to take it forward!
        I am so happy to inform you about my advances on the same project: “The Spiritual Series”.
        Your remarks helped me put up better content, thankyou!
        Following are the links to the available content:
        Gratitude: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ywwAY8qAVs&t=13s
        Acceptance : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RS8M72PM3HM&t=28s
        Visualise : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBbmVrn-9CQ
        Do tell me how you liked it. Feel free to add in your remarks as well.

        Like

      • Don’t worry. It’s not my special day. It’s actually the exact opposite of that.

        But it’s 19th Jan originally.
        Though officially 15th July.

        Like

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