Leave me alone.

I’m lost in the past, drowning in the memories. It’s dim. It’s stale. It’s a flickering light of yesterday, haunting, a constant reminder. It’s dark. It’s a freakin’ nightmare.

image

The night fell into the silent abyss. The damp atmosphere hung in the air, that cold wind of the onset of winter blew. He settled at the end of the bar, contemplating, lost and deserted. His eyes were a million miles away, yet they spoke a story, sunk in the evening aroma of slow music and distant chatter. A thousabd thoughts exploded in his mind, relinquishing the past. the pupils dilated as the warmth of the drink slid past the burning throat. He never drank before. He didn’t realize he was drinking. He was too lost to care. His eyes fixated at the emptiness, still contemplating. Another sip. The past still resided at the peripheral. Another sip. The glass was empty. His ears caught a sweet voice, singing in the distant. He woke up from the past.

He was holding a glass, empty, a reminder of the past that was just forgotten. He eased his grip and let it free. “Leave me alone”, a voice shouted in his mind. The voice had been shouting to the pain that haunted. He got used to it like a lullaby, a painful one. Yet, it made its presence felt every day, every moment. The song became louder. It had been louder all along and he felt it’s presence with the words that surrounded the ambience.
…Let me heal the scars of yesterday,

The scars that have dug so deep,

Let me burn away the pain,

For I’m the phoenix rising from the ashes…”

He felt it making its way through him, digging the skin and reaching for the heart. The constant voice that haunted faded in the melody. Before he knew, he was sipping again and it went smooth this time. He saw her among the crowd under the limelight, staring at him from the distance, staring at him naked, staring at his naked soul, the eyes piercing the very fragments of pain, the past he had hid so well, she saw it all, every detail. He felt that pain drain away, delicately like the touch of the sun to the sea beyond the horizon. But then, the glass slipped from his hand, smashed against the floor as he was left vulnerable with the thousand pieces it broke into. The lights dimmed, the song ended and she was gone. He stood up, in search, but in vain.

“Leave me alone”, his mind shouted again to the voices that haunted again.

Advertisements

591 thoughts on “Leave me alone.

  1. Been there, in the lonely place, struggling to survive the pain… This post makes my heart sad for this man. 😔 He grieves with no hope. Where there is hope, there is life beyond the pain. It doesn’t mean he will never experience the pain, only that, deep down, he knows he will live BEYOND the pain, because there is something MORE for which to live. …Hope is a powerful thing. Without it, life is just a survival game. Hope causes us to thrive. Thriving is so much more fun. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope everything is in the bright side of life right now.

      You’re absolutely right. Hope is a powerful thing. And yes, thriving is much more fun.
      Thanks for dropping by. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

  2. When he closed his eyes, he saw her again. She whispered to him, reached out. He made to grab her hand, but she fell away to darkness.
    He cried out for her, not fully knowing what he was calling for, but he kept on calling anyways. He wanted to sleep, to forget his pains and never wake up, but the alcohol wouldn’t let him.
    He remembered a sunny day. It was as beautiful as it could get, but he remembered pain. The world was beautiful, yet filled with pain.
    The voice murmured inaudibly to him, and he opened his eyes.
    The drunken crowd was gone. He was alone, in a bare place with a bare soul.
    He could not feel his pain. The whispers came again, but they felt more real. He turned around and reached out to her.
    “This time, I won’t let you go.”

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s