I knew that the running had to stop some day. I wished not to see that day at all. If you understand what I mean. Or probably you don’t. You would probably be asking “What’s wrong with this guy?”. Yes. That very question haunted me forever. And it still does. I am giving up, again, like I had been doing for the past few years.
The end is nearing. The beginning always has an end. The borrowed time is asking for answers. He said he gave up. He really did. I assumed he was joking. He wasn’t. He led himself into believing that it was late and there was nothing much that he could ever do. It was not like he wasn’t aware that nothing was impossible. But when the little faith is lost, there is nothing much anyone ever could do. He lost the faith in himself. No matter how motivated he was, or perhaps he never was. He as always looking for an excuse to put it to rest. He wanted to take the easy way out. The one that none of us prefer. I never saw any problem with him. He had the resources, the means, in a nutshell he had everything. But he never saw that. He was convinced that it would be a better option to give up, give up on himself. I never knew people could could really give up so easily. What makes people to give up, give up on themselves, even when they have every possible choice not to.
He never got around to do what he wanted to do. He is on the knife’s edge, fooling himself that he will be done with it one day. But that day never comes, unless he takes some initiative, either to follow his dreams or what he wanted to do. He is stuck at that crossroads where every second counts and he has been stuck there for seven years. And not able to move forward and being stuck is eating him from inside. I hope he comes out of this, for better or worse.
But time eventually runs out. And his time is nearing. What he does now will tell where he is really standing and what he really wants. What he really wants? I wish he figures out that first, before the time really runs out.